Updated: May 19, 2020
Since becoming parents and going into business, we have been thinking about some of the things we say to our kids without much thought about the message we are unwittingly sending to them that keep them chained. We tend to say these things automatically when trying to be helpful. We've read some books and listened some people then had a brainstorm and listed some of them down and then come up with a more positive up lifting way of saying them. We want to raise entrepreneurs and teach our two girls those things they won't be taught in school
Here they are.
1. Be careful. The message, be cautious, don't take risks but in reality, it's the risk takers who succeed in life.
Obviously, we're talking about calculated risks here. Try: Be mindful. Now the message is, have your wits about you, be aware, calculate, be alert as you proceed
2. Stop crying.
The message is it's not normal to feel that way or your feelings don't matter, I've given you a solution now get over it. Try: acknowledging feelings. "I can see you are very upset. That was a really frustrating thing that happened. What can I do to help? Would a huggle help? “(that's our family word for a cuddle and a hug ) now the message is, your emotions are natural and I hear you.
3. Get a job.
The message is be like the rest. Work for someone else and make their dreams come true. Try: Make something of yourself. Now the message is, the sky is the limit.
4. But. The message is, I've not listened to what you've said. Try: and. Now the message is I have heard you, I have considered your point of view.
5. Well done. Good job.
The message is I'm making a judgement about this thing you adone (picture you have drawn for example) and what is "good" and what isn't is up to other people to judge. Try : describing what you see. "ooh, look how you put those legos together all by yourself" . "Look how you coloured in the lines that time" . when really we should put them in the drivers seat of deciding what is good.
6. I am proud of you.
The message is this thing that you have done reflects on me. You are taking away their glory and putting it on you. Try: you must be so proud. Now the message is The desire to succeed should and can only come from within. Do what you will be proud of.